I've moved (temporarily) into a van: http://campervanfamily.blogspot.ca/


Follow along as I blog my own descent into madness. With pictures.

Somewhere between naps, bacon snacks, the occasional run (oh ya!), changing diapers, changing my spit-up covered shirts/pants (this kid is a textbook "Happy Spitter"), etc. I'm working on some trip planning and a minimalist packing list.


I think that organizing the clothing for four people is going to be the hardest part.

Our current estimated date of departure is the first week of June and we don't plan to be back to Ottawa until the end of October. Our trip will take us: across Ontario, Manitoba, Saskatchewan, Alberta and part of BC during June-July; up to the Yukon at the beginning of August; down the West Coast during late August-early September; through the Southern US in late September and then up the East Coast in October.

That's a fair range of climates and conditions to pack for in one very small closet. We'll definitely need to rely on a lot of dual-purpose clothing and layers.

Also, I'm planning for doing laundry once a week. Obviously less laundry would be fine with me but I don't mind doing a bit of handwashing either if need-be.

My current packing list includes:

• Underwear (7 each plus 2-3 bras for me)
• Socks (2-3 pairs each)
• Shirts (7 each)
• Pants/shorts (5-6 each)
• Sweaters/fleece (2-3 each)
• Rain/wind jackets (1 each plus full rainsuits for kids)
• Hats (1 toque and 1 sunhat each) 
• Swimsuits (2 each)
• Longjohns (1 set each for adults, 2 for kids)
• Shoes (1 pair each of: flip-flops/crocs, sneakers, rain boots) 
• Miscellaneous: bandannas, scarves, mittens, etc. 

I think I scared my husband today when I told him that even having room for 7 pairs of underwear each might be a stretch.

He might need to start considering making the switch to a less bulky option. Like thongs.

This man is in my brain.


Just smarter, funnier and more articulate.

But I'm prettier.

Apparently second babies are intended as lesson in humility.


Our first daughter was all rock-and-roll as an infant: fit me to your unemployed schedule, take me anywhere at anytime, I'm mellow all day until you try to put me to bed for the night, then there will be much screaming; you'll need to pick a bedtime (midnight works), put me in a sling, play loud inappropriate music (Amy Winehouse "Rehab" was a favourite) while dancing and let me scream for 10 minutes straight - then I will sleep until 11am.

The bedtime screaming wasn't fun but we never complained about the sleeping-in.

Thankfully I've never bragged that I have any clue about babies or parenting.

So far our second daughter enjoys yelling much of the day (with a few breaks for eating, sleeping and making beautiful smiles). Then, at about 7-8pm, she ramps up the yelling. It only took me a week or so to figure out that if I took her to bed, lay down and nursed her, she would quietly, blissfully, sweetly fall asleep for the night. Without screaming, dancing, slinging, etc. Who fucking knew that some babies like to go to bed?

Obviously less screaming at bedtime is a pleasant surprise but the drawback is that this kid is not down with my evening plans for us to hang out, make popcorn, nap/nurse and watch multiple episodes of Game of Thrones. Or sleep in.

I guess we'll have to bond some other way.

I hope she likes whisky when she grows up.

We bought a van.

Specifically a 1991 Roadtrek Versatile.

I call her Dolly. Obviously.

#vanlife here we come.

5 weeks of looking down at this sweet (screamy) little punk 24-7 and I'm still not sick of her.


These hormones are some seriously good shit.

People working for world peace need to get themselves some chemists, distill that stuff and put it in our water supply. Drugs and hugs for everyone.

On February 1st my husband won the bet.


Say hello to our second beautiful daughter.

Needless to say, we're all over the moon and madly in love. Even if in a few years time there won't be a drop of hot shower water left in our house.

I'd stab my mother for a Twinkie right now.


Last January we did a Whole 30 "cleanse" and it went pretty well. There may have been some discussion about inappropriate uses for fudge (inappropriate uses other than eating it that is) but I think I did better than I thought I would.

This year I was feeling the need for another nutritional re-set. Not that we'd completely fallen off the wagon but I can't be bothered to be a complete paleo Grinch at Christmas. Especially when I'm staying with other people. And eating the food they've so nicely prepared.

Since we started eating in a more primal manner, I rarely crave grain-based baked goods. And even more rarely do I give into any cravings I do have. It helps that I enjoy baking and I've found plenty of amazing grain-free and low-sugar recipes to adequately fulfill my hankerings for a dessert fix.

But on the Whole 30 anything with any added sugar is against the rules. And I fully understand and agree with the principles behind these rules. But it is fascinating to observe how strict sugar restrictions switch my cravings from something reasonably healthy and manageable to something pathological.

I'm only writing about this right now because I'm trying to distract myself from the knowledge that a 3 pack of Twinkies is but a short elevator ride away. Yes, Twinkies. Perhaps the greatest posterchild for everything that any whole-foods-based eating approach is against.

Every time I read some fundamentalist screed about the things that "aren't" paleo, I'm always reminded that most people need to have some wiggle room. A 5% or even 20% space in which to allow ourselves to relax so that the other 80-95% of the time we're free of random self-destructive urges to shove unhealthy "food products" down our gullets.

While I totally recommend a Whole 30-type restrictive diet for anyone looking for some insight into their eating habits and potential digestive/health issues, I sure as hell feel that it's obvious that this is not (nor is it meant to be) a successful long-term eating strategy for most people.

I'm certainly happier when I'm not worried about distracting myself constantly lest I snap and devouring the revolting, never-expiring contents of a 7-11 shelf in a fit of sugar-deprivation. Give me a couple of "bakies" (you can even skip the additional sugar and use raisins and they're still good) once-in-a-while and I'd never even give a Twinkie a thought.

Let alone consider a violent assault on a loved-one a fair price to pay for faux-food.

Well, most days anyway.

Question - What do you get when you cross: a nesting pregnant lady with an upcoming year of maternity/parental leave burning a hole in her brain; a cheap, research/organization-obsessed Virgo; some serious wanderlusting hippy tendencies; a penchant for minimalism/small living; a love of backcountry camping; a burning desire to breathe lots of salt air for long periods of time and; a highly-tolerant (possibly masochistic) spouse?


Answer - Possibly the most amazing (and insane) plan for an extended roadtrip ever.

Oh ya baby, we're going to try to take this (poop)show (two small kids, one skinny dog and two adults who should know better) on the road.

In a camper van. For 6 months.

I vacillate constantly between being super-excited and utterly-terrified. Wheee!

The current (sketchy) plan and timeline is to:

1) Give birth to a healthy (happy, mellow, easy-sleeper, champion-nurser) baby - late January/early February
2) Buy a reasonably-priced larger camper van (probably a used Roadtrek) - March/April
3) Figure out what to do with our current car and home while we're gone - April
4) Deal with any van repairs/upgrades, insurance, documentation, vaccinations, etc. - April
5) Come up with a rough plan for where we want to go and what we want to see (other than ocean, ocean and more ocean) - April
6) Pack up the van with a small selection practical and comprehensive roadtrip/camping supplies - May
7) Find enough leftover space for 2 child car seats, 2 small car seat occupants, a car-sickness prone dog, a driver and a navigator - May
8) Make appropriate sacrifices/prayers/offerings to any/all possibly sympathetic higher deities - May
9) Hit the road - May
10) Manage to make it to at least one ocean without any roadtrip-ending disasters - May/June

You'll no doubt be impressed that I've already purchased some aesthetically-pleasing and highly-practical Turkish towels. And I own a Swiss Army knife with a bottle-opener/corkscrew.

So really, we're pretty much ready to go.

Well, since it appears that the world hasn't ended (yet), I guess I'm still pregnant.


In fact, according to my own (hopefully somewhat more accurate than the Mayan's) calculations, I'm 34 weeks pregnant as of today.

Holy hell am I tired. Like first trimester tired. I definitely do not remember this from my previous go-round at hosting a fetus. In this current state of exhaustion (and immune-compromised general physical ick) I am almost looking forward to giving birth. Almost. Though I still feel like I'm procrastinating on really doing much of anything to get organized for the impending arrival.

In starting to think about what I need to be ready, I find it interesting that I'm only now remembering all sorts of things that somehow I've repressed/forgotten since the last time I was responsible for a newborn. The little details like how many supplies you need for the sole purpose of dealing with leaky people. The diapers, burp cloths, monster maxi pads, breast pads, mattress covers, wipes, etc. Apparently the human brain is very good at ensuring the survival of the species by only retaining the memories of sweet, warm, newborn milk-breath and not the memories of waking up each morning for weeks in sweat-milk-pee-blood-spit drenched pajamas. Oh, and of course the joys of breaking-in the poor old nipples.

It's almost enough to make me slightly less eager to have this pregnancy over and done with already.

Well, at least until I get distracted by the thought of getting to see some of those adorable 6-month-thigh-rolls again... Mmm, baby chub...